- It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
- Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with flat bosoms.
- All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
- All you want from groupies is a foot massage, a back rub, and an Ovaltine, YIKES !
- You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list.
- Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a really strong backed roadie.
- You lost the directions to the gig.
- You need your glasses just to see the amp settings.
- You've thrown out your back or blown out yer knees jumping off the stage.
- The waitress is your daughter!
- You stop mid-set because your last Viagra fell behind the speakers.
- Most of your crowd just sways slowly in their seats or nods off.
- You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
- You refuse to play without earplugs.
- You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
- You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
- You're related to at least one member in the band.
- You don't let ANYONE sit in.
- You need a nap, BEFORE the gig.
- After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
- You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
- You buy amps considering their dead weight and not their tone or "cool" factor.
- Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter.
- You can remember seven PREVIOUS different club names for the same location.
- You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!.
- Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grand-kids.
- The set list has to be in 36 point , BOLD Type..
- It seems impossible to find stage shoes with decent arch support.
- Many thanks to "Rikk N Roll", Mr. Rink Feulner
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