Monday, July 12, 2010

... I Am Ted Mack's Love-Child !

A few observations:

- SNAKE OIL: This had to have been the reason for the creation of the FDA. Imagine being able to legally sell this crap? Geritol, Serutan, Niron & Zarumin ... and who the hell was the marketing guy in charge of naming this shit, the underacheiving son of JRR Tolkein?

- JACK DUPP: Apparently, Ted Mack was sampling this stuff during pre-show tapings. He's as jacked up as Michael Jackson at the Vienna Boys Choir Nudist Resort & Daycare Center ... His head is on a swivel and doesn't stop moving for a second.

- BODY IMAGE: Someone has been slipping "Niron" (see 6:21 in video above) into my meals for the past 35 years, for my "firm, attractive weight" is second to none! If I find that bastard, they'll have to book me for 1st degree murder.

I am moving. You can now contact me at "Box 191, Radio City Station" ... Daddy? Is that you? ...

*** Tony Jones (bass)

1 comment:

Johnny Virgil said...

I am going to invent FOUR PILLS IN ONE! I'll be RICH!